Pastoral Expectations

One of the things I struggle with the most as a pastor is the automatic set of assumptions and expectations that come along with the title. At one point, I thought that announcing my vocation would be an exciting thing, something I'd be proud to announce to the world. Boy, was I wrong! Instead, I find myself keeping my vocation a secret until I absolutely must share it. It isn't that I'm ashamed of what I do, but how people perceive me once they find out.

On the way to Ministers' School last week, I had a conversation with a colleague about this. The title of 'pastor' or 'reverend' or 'minister' brings with it so many connotations that it's easy for the rest of me to get lost. Being a pastor is part of who I am, but it does not define me entirely. But once that label gets attached, I feel like some part of me needs to hide, simply because of all the expectations attached to the role.

Case in point: Most Sundays, I join a few of the folks (mostly ladies) from the church for lunch. It's a fun time to hear what went on at church, how they perceived the worship service, and all sorts of other juicy information (but we shan't call it gossip!). This weekend, a couple of the ladies had gone to some sort of concert in a neighboring town. While there, they talked to a man who went to church in that town. His congregation used to be part of a two-point charge that included both his church and mine. So there is some history that at least partly explains his interest. He asked these two ladies, "So, how do you like having a lady minister?" I kind of smile as they tell me this, as it isn't the first or last time I have or will hear of such a question. The next one kind of caught me off guard, though. "What about her being single. Is that a problem?" Excuse me? Sure, I've got some ladies (one in particular) who are keen to get me married off, but why is marriage a part of the check list for what makes a good pastor? Where do these expectations come from?

So it all makes for an interesting situation, at least within myself. It's a catch-22. By being wary of giving out that information, I'm denying part of myself. At the same time, to let it become what defines me has the same effect. Perhaps I'm being a bit sensitive about it all. Could very well be. It's still something that bounces around in my head. I'm not sure what to do with all the assumptions and expectations, especially since they change from person to person. It makes the marriage requirement particularly difficult to fulfill, to be sure. Suffice to say, I'm still trying to figure out how I fit in this vocation, if I do at all. There, by the grace of God, go I.

Christmas, the New Year, and January

First of all, let me just say that I enjoyed not having 6 services on Christmas Eve this year. Instead, we just had the one. A very nice family in the church invited me out to their traditional Christmas Eve trip to Red Lobster (I had chicken) and then the Christmas Eve service began at 11. The nice thing about the sanctuary here is it has varying levels of lighting. We were able to keep it just light enough to read the hymnal, but still dark enough to enjoy the ambiance. We had a good crowd and folks are still raving about it. My thanks to FZ, as I pretty much stole his Christmas Eve idea, complete with O Holy Night.

Christmas morning I made the trek home. It was good to be home for Christmas this year, though it felt a bit strange with only the four of us (Dad, Mom, Paul and myself). It was a very low key day, which I enjoyed.

After a few days at home, I took off to Texas! I got to ring in the New Year with some friends of mine from Duke days. It felt really good to be with people who know me well. Living in a new place, it takes a while for that level of intimacy to build. Thanks to Amanda and Ashleigh for a good time!

And now January has arrived. It's a bit manic, really. I came back for a few days then went to Ministers' School...which was ok. Now I'm back for a few days before two friends from England arrive! I'm so excited to see them! We'll be heading somewhere...destination unknown at this point. I really don't care where we go. I'm just very excited to see them.

That's life in a nutshell right now. Things at church continue to progress. Might try something a bit controversial this weekend. Will let you know how it goes.