Holier than Thou

I've about had it with folks. And I know I fall into the same trap from time to time, but I'm quite aggravated at the minute. You've already read about the previous troubles in the church. Those have somewhat sorted themselves out, though not really. But I just got a phone call that's irked me a bit.

Some of you might know that we've got a Habitat chapter here in town and we've just selected our family. There's been all sorts of press about it so we can garner up some support. The family that was selected, based on the greatest need, is a blended family. The man who applied has several kids by previous relationships. He's also currently living with his fiance. They aren't married. Habitat has four primary criteria for who gets a house. They must be 1) a US citizen; 2) employed; 3) living in substandard housing; 4)willing to help build their home. That's it.

Habitat bills itself as a Christian organization, which I believe it is. Simply by offering a hand up out of poverty, I see Jesus acting through us. I'm proud to be a part of a local project.

So I get this call this afternoon. This woman and her husband (not in my congregation) were wanting to volunteer to help, until they saw that the family we chose were 'living in sin.' So now they're refusing to help.

I'm so angry I could either cry. How did the Church get to the point where we would only help perfect people? Don't all of us live in sin every day? Didn't Jesus help people while they were in sin instead of waiting for them to clean up their lives and then offer to help them? I tried to explain it to her, but she said we should invite them to church, but not necessarily help them live in a suitable home.

I understand, to a degree, where this woman is coming from. But I still don't understand. How did Christianity become only about living with a moral checklist (often only containing those morals that we ourselves can live by) and less about helping the poor and the outcast?

I'd like some help on how to word an argument with folks who bring this up, because this is not the first time I've heard this since we announced our family.

Rock, Meet Hard Place

I'm stuck.

So I've been here nearly four months now. Seems a lot longer sometimes. But only four months. It's amazing how much history and information about a place one can gather in such a short time. Folks are eager to share their stories and the story of the community in which they live. And I'm more than happy to listen.

What I've heard is a lot of frustration, disappointment and hurt, surrounded with a tinge of hope. It's hard not to get sucked into the cycle of negativity. Really hard. I've tried to maintain my objectivity, with some success. But I think I'm beginning to experience why folks feel the way they do.

There are two families in the church who pretty much run the place. Why, I'm not to sure, as they have yet to be very actively involved in anything these last four months. But they all hold prominent positions on key committees and everybody else (for the most part) is either afraid of them or works around them. Sounds healthy, I know.

Recently, I upset the two families. Woo hoo! Go me. The mess stems from a sign I put up outside the church that the two ladies found offensive (oddly enough, no one else I spoke to found it offensive, and I asked a wide range of folks). They shared their concerns with me. I thanked them for sharing those concerns and politely replied that I would leave the sign up for a few more days. In sum, the said message stayed up for a week.

One family hasn't been to church since (two weeks). The other boycotted last week and is boycotting again next week (I know this because the man of the house was supposed to preach, but now they're conveniently going to be out of town).

These two families are good friends with a third family. This third family has been quite supportive of me and in a strange twist of irony, helped me put up the sign. It's a difficult situation for them. The lady was in tears on Sunday.

So I'm stuck. From what I've heard, this has been a pattern of behavior for these folks for a while now, with every new pastor receiving a similar treatment. So what do I do? Most folks in the church are at the same time frustrated with this pattern, but seemed to be resigned to it. I'd like to stop the pattern. Nobody deserves to be treated like this. But at what cost do I stand up to them? Part of me thinks the church would be healthier with a change in leadership. But to find out, I risk tearing the church apart and potentially breaking relationships that have existed much longer than the four months I've been here.

I wish wisdom came without experience.