Rock, Meet Hard Place

I'm stuck.

So I've been here nearly four months now. Seems a lot longer sometimes. But only four months. It's amazing how much history and information about a place one can gather in such a short time. Folks are eager to share their stories and the story of the community in which they live. And I'm more than happy to listen.

What I've heard is a lot of frustration, disappointment and hurt, surrounded with a tinge of hope. It's hard not to get sucked into the cycle of negativity. Really hard. I've tried to maintain my objectivity, with some success. But I think I'm beginning to experience why folks feel the way they do.

There are two families in the church who pretty much run the place. Why, I'm not to sure, as they have yet to be very actively involved in anything these last four months. But they all hold prominent positions on key committees and everybody else (for the most part) is either afraid of them or works around them. Sounds healthy, I know.

Recently, I upset the two families. Woo hoo! Go me. The mess stems from a sign I put up outside the church that the two ladies found offensive (oddly enough, no one else I spoke to found it offensive, and I asked a wide range of folks). They shared their concerns with me. I thanked them for sharing those concerns and politely replied that I would leave the sign up for a few more days. In sum, the said message stayed up for a week.

One family hasn't been to church since (two weeks). The other boycotted last week and is boycotting again next week (I know this because the man of the house was supposed to preach, but now they're conveniently going to be out of town).

These two families are good friends with a third family. This third family has been quite supportive of me and in a strange twist of irony, helped me put up the sign. It's a difficult situation for them. The lady was in tears on Sunday.

So I'm stuck. From what I've heard, this has been a pattern of behavior for these folks for a while now, with every new pastor receiving a similar treatment. So what do I do? Most folks in the church are at the same time frustrated with this pattern, but seemed to be resigned to it. I'd like to stop the pattern. Nobody deserves to be treated like this. But at what cost do I stand up to them? Part of me thinks the church would be healthier with a change in leadership. But to find out, I risk tearing the church apart and potentially breaking relationships that have existed much longer than the four months I've been here.

I wish wisdom came without experience.